I feel like I’m watching the confirmation hearings again.  Right when things settle down from carrying out one screaming lunatic and the hearings begin again, another screaming lunatic stands up.  In this case it’s sexual assault accusers with no witnesses, admitted faulty memories, and demands for an FBI investigation.

Today we are dealing with Debra Ramirez.  She’s another liberal extremist who suddenly started to remember vivid details about something that happened 34 years ago with a drunk Kavanaugh.  With her attorney’s help, Ramirez started to remember a drunken party at Yale.  At the party, apparently she and Kavanaugh were playing a drinking game with a couple other friends.  The drinking game involved pointing a fake penis at each other or something like that.  Who knows what goes on at these ivy league fancy parties.

At one point, in her drunken stupor, she though Kavanaugh pointed his real penis at her.  This was confirmed for her as she now remembers someone shouting Brett Kavanaugh’s full name down the hallway saying he had just done this.  Being a strong catholic who goes to parties, gets drunk, and plays with fake penises, she didn’t ever want to actually see or touch a real one until she got married.  It’s a religious thing.

So far three friends of hers and Kavanaugh’s have gone on record saying the incident never happened.  Several others who didn’t want to go on record have denied it happening.  One, who refused to go on record, said he remembered hearing about it one time and is 100% sure it did happen.

Unlike Ford, whose account has also been discredited and has no one who will vouch for her, Ramirez just suddenly remembered this now.  Ford at least had a back story to these memories suddenly surfacing when Kavanaugh was nominated.  She even had therapist sessions about it, although there were no names and the details were different.  Ford also actually submitted a letter to her representative back in July, although Democrats sat on it until now.  Ramirez is coming out of no where.

And then there are the key words.  She wants an FBI investigation.  You would think Senators and attorneys, even if they didn’t understand this before, would know now that the FBI doesn’t drop everything and investigate 35 year old allegations about college students getting drunk and showing off their members.  It’s not a federal crime, it’s past the statute of limitations, and while it may have offended her strict catholic principles to see a real penis while at an alleged drunken revelry, it’s not something the FBI really cares about.  But if they did win an FBI investigation, or any other investigation, they would get their real goal which is delaying the Kavanaugh confirmation.

In the end, what this really proves is that Mike Pence was right.  As a man, you shouldn’t meet with a woman alone.  Even a small group of friends is dangerous.  But beyond that, don’t make inappropriate jokes.  Always be a gentleman.  Train your sons to stay away from women while they are young.  Don’t invite women to business meetings.  Keep the genders separate in grade school, high school, and even college.  Don’t fraternize with the opposite sex.  If you have daughters, be very strict with them.  Don’t let them wear the wrong clothes cause you never know when even someone like Brett Kavanaugh might be a sexual predator.  Don’t let them go to college where they might be randomly attacked by someone who is fooling literally everyone else in the world, but is really a predator.

Maybe if your son is on a date, consider going with him so he isn’t falsely accused.  Try a “courting candle”.  Tell them to kiss dating goodbye.  Don’t hire women.  You are only putting yourself in a bad situation.  Remind your sons that even if they are completely innocent and do nothing wrong, a 35 year old accusation with no witnesses must always be believed and she might not always be your friend.  You might disagree politically some day, and she’ll have ammo to destroy you.

Don’t worry, Liberal Feminists.  We are learning our lesson here.